


Picture Boxes and Letters and Ghosts

by Holtzmann1998



Series: Being Kates Girlfriend [13]
Category: Kate McKinnon-Fandom, Saturday Night Live
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9476804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzmann1998/pseuds/Holtzmann1998
Summary: A death in your family causes you deal with your past.





	

You wake up from a dreamless sleep to hear two people talking in the living room.  
“Kate, you got a proton pack? I think we got ghosts.” You say to her without opening your eyes. You hear no response and turn to look at her. Her bed is messy but she’s not there. You sigh and sit up, your eyes adjusting to the darkness. “It’s three in the morning.” You mumble. You shiver in the cold apartment. As you get out of bed, your grab your favorite blanket and wrap it around yourself. You trudge into the hallway and listen to the voices in the living room.  
“How do you think she’ll take it?” You hear Kate ask.  
“I don’t know, they were never close.” You hear Leslie say.  
“Even before-“  
“It’s rude to speak ill of the sleeping.” You grumble as you walk into the living room. Kate and Leslie look tired as they look at you from the couch. You walk, over to them and sit between them, leaning on Kate. She wraps her arms around you and you cover the two of you in your blanket.  
“Baby, there’s something I need to tell you.” Leslie says softly. You rarely hear Leslie speak, softly.  
“What happened? Who died?” You say slowly. Kate runs her fingers through your matted hair and begins to play with it.  
“I, uh, your-”  
“Spit it out, Leslie. It’s too early in the morning for me to deal with this crap.” You say.  
“Your mama died.” Kate looks as you, waiting for a reaction.  
“That’s it? That’s what you’re here so early for?” You say bluntly.  
“The funeral is-”  
“I don’t care when it is. I’m not going.” You say.  
“She’s your mom.” Kate whispers. You move out of Kate’s grasp and walk to your room. You grab a piece of paper hidden under your bed and walk back to the living room, resuming your position leaned against Kate. She goes back to playing with your hair.  
“Daughter,” You read from the paper. “I don’t think I will ever understand your stupid and selfish ways. If you continue to go through with your sinful life you will spend an eternity in hell. You have a choice to make, be a part of this family and come back home and act like a normal human, or continue dating that awful blond whore. If you chose that slut over us, don’t come to any family functions. When your father and I die, don’t come to our funerals.”  
“Oh my god.” Kate whispers.  
“You’re going. We’re both going.” Leslie says.  
“I want to go too.” Kate says. You look at her.  
“When did your mom write you that?” Leslie asks.  
“A few months ago. I sent her a letter and a picture telling her how I was doing and about Kate and I. First time I reached out to her in a few years and this is what she tells me. I’m not going. I’m going back to bed.” You stand up and leave your blanket with Kate.  
“We’re leaving tomorrow afternoon for the funeral.” Leslie calls to you.  
“Have fun!” You call to her. You close your bedroom door before she can reply. You sigh as you throw yourself onto your bed. “So, my mother is dead.” You think to yourself as you close your eyes. “It’s kinda sad that that note was her last words to me. I guess that’s what you get when you choose love over family.” You feel like you could cry, but at the same time you don’t. It’s like something is keeping your from crying. You smile to yourself. “Leslie is just playing some kind of stupid joke. We’ll all go to the funeral except it won’t be a funeral and Leslie will just try to get a rise out of me.” Your thoughts stop as you hear the door open. Kate quietly walks in. Instead of climbing into her bed, she climbs into your bed and coveres the two of you with your blanket. She rests her head on your chest, let’s out a sad sigh, and whispers to you.  
“I know you’re asleep and won't hear this, but I think you should go to the funeral. I know you and I know you don’t accept this kind of stuff well. I want to be there for you, like how you’re always there for me, but it’s hard to do that if you don’t let me in. I need to know what upsets you and how something upsets you to be able to help. I know you’re hurting, but you have to let me in.” You’re silent. Before you can even begin to think of a response, Kate is asleep. You wrap your arms around her and fall asleep yourself.  
“I knew I’d find you.” A familiar voice sneered. You open your eyes and look up to see your mother standing before you. “Of course, you’re in bed with a woman. Filthy sinner.”  
“I love Kate. Like it or not, that’s who I am, who we are. Not that it matters what you think, you’re-” You pause, not saying the world you desperately want to say.  
“Dead? Say it. Your mother is dead. I hope you’re happy. I tried so hard to give you a good life. I raised you and made you dresses and baked with you and all sorts of things and look at how horribly you turned out.”  
“You did none of those things and I turned out just fine.” You say. You tighten your grip on Kate, afraid your mother is going to take her away from you. Your mother notices this and grins an evil grin.  
“Be still my dead heart. It seems there’s two of us who aren’t breathing anymore.” You feel instant panic as you look down at Kate.  
“Kate, wake up.” You skate her. She doesn’t respond. “K-Kate, wake up, come on, please wake up.” You feel tears forming in your eyes.  
“Only you would cry over a dead whore and not your own mother.” Your mother says.  
“Kate!” You’re screaming now. You scream her name over and over as you continue to shake her. Your heart hurts and you feel like you can’t breathe. Panic sets in as Kate won’t wake up. “Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me!” You sob. “Kate! Don’t die, come back, please come back! Don’t go, please come back!”  
“Wake, up, you’re having a bad dream again!” You feel yourself being shaken. You force open your eyes to see a concerned Kate looking at you. You stare at her for a moment, taking in her living state. “You’re crying. What happened?” She asks you. You still feel like you’re in your nightmare. You instantly throw your arms around Kate’s waist and put your head against her chest, listening to her heartbeat. You feel your body shake from fright. The two of you are silent for a long time.  
“Don’t ever leave me.” You whisper. “Don’t let my mother take you away.”  
“I-I won’t.” Kate says, somewhat confused. “We need to get ready to go.” She whispers. You don’t want to let go, but continuing to hold onto Kate would mean she'd drag you out of bed.  
“I don't want to go. I refuse to go.” You say and you let go, grabbing her hand in the process. You sit on your bed with your legs under you.  
“Please go, it's only a few hours. I'll be there with you.” She says softly. You sigh. You really don't want to go, but you know you'll somehow regret it if you don't.  
“I'll go, but I reserve the right to be a jerk to my family.” Kate smiled slightly.  
“Alright, babe. Go get some breakfast and get ready.” You get off of your bed and look around your room. Both your half and Kate's half look like a teenagers messy room. Your side has more books and computer stuff while Kate's side has more makeup and cat toys. You go to your dresser and change into a pair of jeans and a black button up.  
“What do you think?” You force a smile at Kate. She had been focusing on her own appearance. She looks at you through her vanity mirror.  
“Like you're trying to piss off your family and looking super hot while doing so.” She smiles. You grin and throw on a blue and black plaid button up shirt over your black one. You leave the plaid shirt unbuttoned. You admire Kate and her reflection. She's wearing a plain black dress with a plunging neckline. The dress just barely reaches her knees and the sleeves reach her elbows. She's putting on blood red lipstick, your favorite color on her. You continue to watch her as you pretend to get ready. You throw on a pair of ‘good shoes’, which are black combat boots. “Hey, babe, what had you so scared?” Kate's says suddenly.  
“Nothing, it was just a bad dream.” She looks at you but doesn't say anything. “Maybe while I'm back I can bring home my first pistol.” You smile to Kate.  
“What would you even do with it? The closest we've had to an intruder is Leslie and you went after her with a plastic sword.” You roll your eyes.  
“I don't know, I just think it'd be nice to have something of mine back.” You shrug. Kate smiles to you.  
“Go get some food before Leslie comes. She should be here soon.” You nod and leave Kate to making herself more beautiful. It always amazes you how she can take her perfect face and make it even more perfect. You walk into the kitchen and look around. You decide to grab a container of strawberries off the counter and shove them into your backpack, which is as close to a purse as you will ever get. You also throw a box of Pop Tarts into your bag and a couple bottles of water. As you zip your bag, the door is flung open.  
“Why don't we lock that door?” You ask yourself. “Hi, Leslie.” You smile to her. She's in a sparkly black dress that shows off all the best features of her body.  
“Hey baby girl! How ya feelin’?” She asks.  
“Fine, like always.” You smile. She looks at you, trying to read your eyes, but she finds no hidden message.  
“Are y'all almost ready?” She asks.  
“Hi, Les.” Kate smiles as she suddenly appears in the living room. She walks into the kitchen. “Did you eat anything?” Kate asks you.  
“I'm not really hungry.” You say. “I just want to get this crap over with.  
“I'm ready if y'all are.” Leslie says. The three of you walk out of your apartment and down to Leslie's car. You and Kate sit in the back.  
“I can't imagine loosing my mother.” Kate mumbles. You look at her.  
“It's one thing if you have a good relationship. It's another if you don't.” You reply. Leslie turns on the radio. She and Kate start singing along and you film them with your phone because it’s awesome footage for home movies. You hum along to some of the songs you know. After an hour the music becomes background noise as Kate and Leslie talk and you close your eyes. You try to fall asleep, but you can’t. You just sit with your eyes closed, enjoying the sound of Leslie’s and Kate’s voices. After a while you fall into a dreamless sleep.  
“Yo, we’re here!” Leslie shouts, causing you to startle from your sleep. You rub your eyes and look out the window. There’s your old church and many cars filling the parking lot. You sigh as you take off your seat belt. Kate touches your hand.  
“Everything will be okay. Leslie and I are here for you.” She smiles to you. You nod and you all get out of the car. You quietly walk in the church doors and into the sanctuary. Many of the chairs are filled. Your father is standing next to the casket alone. He doesn’t acknowledge your presence. All three of you walk up to the casket.  
“It’s good to see you, Leslie.” You father smiles.  
“You too, sir.” She mumbles. She doesn’t bother to say much to anyone. She silently takes Kate to a seat near the front. You are left standing alone in front of your father. Neither of you look at each other.  
“That your girlfriend?” He asks.  
“Yeah, she is.” You say.  
“It’s sick. I can’t believe you’d bring her to your mother’s funeral.” He complained. “You look like a fucking dyke.”  
“You’re in a church, don’t cruse.” You tell him coldly. He glares at you. You look at your mother in the casket, but you don’t look long enough to remember anything. You quickly walk to Kate and Leslie and sit next to them. Kate rests her head on your shoulder and you place your arm around her. The service seems to drag on as they talk about your mother. No one wants to share any of their memories of your mother. Suddenly, Leslie gets up and walks to the podium.  
“I knew the woman my whole life. I was raised around her and I thought she was an amazing woman. She was a model here in the church. “ Leslie looks like she’s about to say something else, but stops herself. “She was taken from us too soon.” She says before returning to you and Kate. A few more words and said and everyone walks out to the graveyard behind the church. The usual ceremony is done.  
“Are you ready to go?” Kate asks after they lower your mother’s casket into the ground.  
“No, not yet.” You say. You watch as the casket is covered with dirt. Many people stop and give you their condolences and tell you it’s been to long since they’ve seen you. Soon, only you, Leslie, Kate, and your father remain. Leslie goes out to the car. Before your father leaves, he hands you a small box, glares are you, and leaves.  
“What is that?” Leslie asks as she returns and hands you your bag.  
“I don’t know.” You say. You take the strawberries out of your bag and dump them on the dirt. “Payback, Mom.” You smile slightly. You’re allergic to strawberries just like me.” Kate places a hand on your shoulder. Leslie takes the container from you and you open the box. There’s a piece of paper on top of it. Under it is a necklace and several pictures.  
“What is the paper?” Kate asks you.  
“Daughter,” You read. “I know I haven’t been the best mother in the world. I’ve done a lot of horrible things to you, from trying to give you away as a child to forcing you to choose between your happiness and your family. I hope this letter finds you someday, maybe you didn’t listen to me and came to my funeral, if you did, thank you. I hope Leslie was there with you.” You glance at Leslie who has a small smile on her face. “I’m sorry I couldn’t accept you for you are. Facing my own death has made me realize that in the end, we all turn to dust and the Lord will wash away our sins I hope you can forgive me for what I did to you. I’ve set aside some pictures of us when you were younger and a necklace from the grandmother you never met. You were named after her. I know it didn’t seem like it, but I love you.” You looked down at the grave, tears filling your eyes. You fall to your knees, strawberries squishing under your jeans. You use your free hand to keep you from falling face first into the mess, causing the juice to seep through your fingers and squirting up your arm.  
“Hey, come on, stand up.” Leslie says gently.  
“I’m sorry, mama.” You choke out. Your body is shaking. Kate pulls you to your feet. The three of you stand in silence as you cry in front of your mother’s grave. “I-I don’t think I can forgive you. Not now, not yet. Maybe when I’m older and I understand more, but not yet. I’m sorry.” You say. A gentle wind caresses your face.  
“Come on, let’s get you out of those jeans before you get hives.” Leslie says.  
“I’ll visit someday.” You whisper. Kate and Leslie walk you back to the car. Your arm tingles from the strawberries. You’re all silent. Before you get in the car you take off your jeans, revealing a pair of blue shorts. Kate pours a bottle of water over your arm and helps you wash the strawberry off. Hives have already formed on your arm.  
“It’ll get easier.” Kate says to you. “I lost my dad when I was a kid.”  
“I know.” You sigh. “I’ll see her again someday, maybe she’s with my dog.”  
“That dog is in cereal heaven where she’s eating all the cereal she wants.” Leslie rolls her eyes. Your dog had a strange love of cereal. You all get in the car and sit in silence for a moment as you put on your seat belts.  
“Is this you?” Kate shows you a picture from the box. She had been digging though it. You look at a picture. It has a younger man and woman and they’re both holding a newborn.  
“I guess so.” You shrug.  
“Here’s Les!” Kate grins. Leslie looks at the picture.  
“Yeah, there’s me and you when you were baby. I can’t believe how weird I look and how little and fragile you were.” Leslie smiles. Kates continues to go through the box, making everyone a little happier with each memory.  
“Kate, I love you.” You smile to her. She blushes.  
“I love you, too.” She says.  
“I love how you can always brighten the darkest days.” You lean on her shoulder and she protectively wraps her arms around you. You hear her wonderful heartbeat again. To you, it sounds like love and home. Leslie starts the car.  
“Let’s go home, y’all.” Leslie says as she begins to drive. You and Kate fall asleep in each other’s arms.


End file.
